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Sexual Surrogates by Dr. Ava Cadell
There is so much confusion about Sexual Surrogates that I want to clarify some of the myths. Some people think that Sex Therapists, Sexologists ,and Sex Counselors are Surrogates, but they are not. However, they can refer their patients to Sexual Surrogates if they believe that it will be therapeutically beneficial. Then the surrogate works closely with therapist and patient in a "triangular" arrangement that focuses on specific goals.
Masters and Johnson, the original gurus of modern sex therapy first started using Sexual Surrogates more than 60 years ago for patients without partners who needed hands on help. Apart from being single, the patients often had emotional sexual dysfunctions that resulted in self-loathing, shame, guilt, or sexual disabilities like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and inability to orgasm.
Traditional surrogate partner therapy is available to patients of all sexual orientations with surrogate partners of either gender. The surrogate plays the part of a lover to the patient in practices intended to build the patient’s skills in the areas of emotional and sexual relationships. These practices include exercises in intimate communication, relaxation, sensual, and erotic touching. Initially patients and surrogate partner spend time touching with clothes on and then clothes off. A course with a Sexual Surrogate is expected to take several months and in most cases, genital stimulation, sexual intercourse, and orgasm are left until last.
There are two primary plans for this Sex Surrogate Therapy:
- Open-ended Therapy: The patient sees the surrogate on average once a week, in one to two hour sessions, until the surrogate, therapist, and patient decides that the therapy is completed. An average length of surrogate partner therapy seems to cover thirty to fifty hours.
- Intensive Therapy: Structured to help patients who are from out of town, have a deadline such as an upcoming nuptial, or simply do not have a local therapist and surrogate team. The patient sees their therapist and surrogate on a daily basis for a prearranged length of time, which can be anywhere from one week to one month.
To become a Sexual Surrogate, experience in nursing, psychology, social work, or alternative therapy are useful, but more importantly, people who possess "mature sexuality" and "emotional stability" make the best candidates.
IPSA is a non-profit education corporation that offers training for individuals wishing to become surrogate partners and for therapists wishing to learn to work with surrogates. IPSA offers referrals for therapists seeking trained, ethical, professional surrogate partners, and for clients seeking therapists who have experience and skill in working with surrogate partners. IPSA also offers continuing education opportunities for surrogate partners and therapists.